Obama’s “Very Special Episode”

Is it just me, or did Barack Obama’s “major speech” last night play like one of those “very special episodes” of 80′s teen television shows? It had everything: fear mongering and deliberate scare tactics, stern admonishment against partisan bickering, tiring and long-winded speeches, and the clear desire (on the part of Obama) to have everyone “just get along” (read: like him again). It dripped with self-righteousness, and most of it was just a little bit awkward, just a little bit forced.

Had he invited Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell to the podium, it would have been perfect.

In all seriousness: I think it will go over quite well. Obama is at his best when he appears to play to the middle. His game plan all along has been to project the image of a moderate– a non-partisan. He is particularly good at appearing to compromise while actually avoiding pressing criticisms and issues: for example, a real compromise with Republicans would have been announcing plans to cut the cost of his proposed program, rather than making vague pronouncements about not adding “one dime to the deficit”. No one, I think, believes that promise. The question is how badly Obama will break it, not if he will.

During the speech, I suggested a new PAC: Dollars for Dimes. It would donate $1 to Republican campaigns for every dime Obama’s health care plan adds to the deficit. (The only foreseeable problem with such a plan is that it may amount to more money than is currently in circulation. Current conservative estimates put the deficit increase due to the House plan at $239 billion. I’m not sure if anyone has the $239 trillion necessary to meet the Dollars for Dimes pledge relative to that kind of profligate spending).

I’m also waiting for the first YouTube clip to put, side by side, Obama’s campaign promise not to raise taxes on the middle class next to his promise that the $1.5 trillion plan won’t add to the deficit. The cognitive dissonance on that one would make even Schoenberg cry.

About the only part of Obama’s Very Special Episode that didn’t go smoothly was the impromptu outburst of Republican Joe Wilson, who stood up and called Obama a “liar” when he, um… lied about not covering illegal immigrants. (Note to Obama fans who will claim that “his” plan isn’t the House plan: just because Obama doesn’t have a plan doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be judged by the ones his party has come up with. Saying that it’s a “lie” to claim illegals are covered when they clearly are in one of the highest-profile proposals is, at best, viciously dishonest– he’s still a liar, one way or the other).

The outburst was obviously regrettable, and I’m glad Wilson called Obama’s head-honcho to apologize. You have to use nuance to oppose a political as wily as Obama, especially when he’s going the “no, really, I promise– I’m a moderate!” route. It’s much easier to align the contradictions in Obama’s deliberately confusing promises and pronouncements and lay them bare for Americans to see– I’m thinking another “Obama vs. Obama” kind of thing. Calling the spade a spade with a foaming at the mouth rant just makes you look like the stereotype Democrats have built up for all Republicans. Far better to calmly point out (later) that HR 3200 does indeed cover illegals, despite what Obama says.

Overall, this speech will still go over well, even though it really shouldn’t. Obama got up in front of Congress and acted out a sloppy and boring campaign ad, but it was an ad that did a good job of reinforcing the false notion that Obama gives a damn what conservatives think. Obama’s “calls for debate” usually play well in the mainstream media even though they are really just calls to agree with him– this was, for the most part, all his speech consisted of. His self-righteous and narcissistic promises (as an exercise, kids, let’s count how many times Obama said “I”) have long been keys to his political success, especially when couched in such dishonest “post-partisanship”.

Nonetheless, no matter what kind of bounce Obama sees in the polls, the reality remains: there are two extraordinarily contradictory versions of health care “reform” on the table: “ironing out the details”, as Obama put it, will take far more than a florid speech extolling the greatness of the Lightworker.

And for now, that’s all we really have.